Understanding the Roots of Relationship Conflict

RelationStitch Podcast – Episode 2

In this episode of the RelationStitch Podcast, Stephanie and I dive into a topic every couple faces: conflict. Not the kind that signals doom, but the kind that reveals depth, history, and opportunity.

As a licensed marriage and family therapist, I’ve seen firsthand that conflict isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a sign that two unique lives are trying to merge. And when couples learn to trace the roots of their disagreements, they can turn tension into transformation.

🎧 Listen to the full episode: RelationStitch Podcast – Episode 2

Where Conflict Comes From

Here are five common sources of relationship conflict we unpack in this episode:

1. Right vs. Wrong (Perspective)

Most arguments aren’t about facts—they’re about point of view. Each partner holds a piece of the truth. The goal isn’t to win, but to weave those truths together.

2. Cultural Differences

From how we fry chicken to how we celebrate holidays, our family traditions shape our expectations. When two people try to recreate their own childhoods, clashes are inevitable.

3. “I” Definitions

Words like love, respect, or commitment carry personal meaning. If someone grew up with abuse disguised as love, hearing “I love you” might trigger fear instead of comfort. Understanding those definitions matters.

4. Morals and Values

These are the hardest conflicts to resolve—religion, politics, core beliefs. They require deep respect, not just compromise.

5. Preferences vs. Personality

Some fights are just about style: Android vs. iPhone, early bird vs. night owl. Learning to distinguish moral issues from personal quirks can save a lot of unnecessary tension.

The Takeaway

Conflict isn’t the enemy—it’s a mirror. It reflects your past, your wiring, and your unmet needs. When couples learn to ask, “Where is this coming from?” instead of “Who’s right?”, they move from defensiveness to understanding.

If your relationship feels stuck in cycles of tension, start by identifying the root of the disagreement. That’s where healing begins.