Marriage Is Work — But Not the Kind You Think

In the first episode of my RelationStitch Podcast, Stephanie and I dive into a phrase many couples misunderstand: “marriage is work.” When I use that word, I’m not talking about stress or struggle. I’m talking about purpose, partnership, and the kind of intentional effort that builds legacy.

🎥 Watch the episode: https://youtu.be/V9jfQHNFnpY?si=Ti3B0JiuyxOdczOq

What I Really Mean by “Work”

From a biblical perspective, marriage has always been a shared mission. Adam and Eve were called to tend a garden together, not grind through life alone. That same principle applies today—your marriage thrives when you and your spouse cultivate something meaningful side by side.

“Be fruitful and multiply” isn’t just about kids. It’s about multiplying wisdom, spiritual fruit, and generational blessing.

Why Shared Meaning Matters

In my therapy work, I see couples drift not because of conflict, but because they lose shared meaning. Gottman’s research backs this up. When you stop dreaming together, you start disconnecting.

Erikson calls this “Stagnation.” The cure is Generativity—building something that outlives you.

What Strong Marriages Do

• Create a shared vision—a mission, project, or purpose you build together.

• Talk deeply and often—intimacy grows through meaningful conversation.

• Follow the growth rhythm: Vision → Work → Accomplish → Celebrate → Rest → Repeat.

This cycle bonds couples in ways quick fixes never can.

Your Next Step

If your relationship feels off‑course, start with one simple question: “Where are we going?”

I encourage couples to create a Family Mission Statement—a compass that keeps your marriage aligned, intentional, and spiritually grounded.